Tuatappitongans

The South Sea Island, Tuatappitonga,

Financially is quite poor.

Olympics bound but London found,

Too dear, so based in Nether Podmore.

High jumper, Tuatappitingo,

They call the 'human flea'.

Not 'cos he can jump so high,

More that he's only four foot three.

He was a limbo champion,

But then he lost the knack.

Rumba'd slow and slumped too low,

Now he's got a jippy back.

Long jumper, Tuatappitugga,

She's looking rather fit.

She's training at the Primary school,

And using their sandpit.

She's concentrating really hard,

Although she doesn't look it.

Focused stare then through the air,

And miss that little plastic bucket.

Canoeist, Tuatappitikki,

Capsized and blushes red.

Sitting in the shallow duck pond,

A lily pad is on his head.

Archer, Tuatappibatti,

Her arrows by her side.

Now everyone is hiding,

'Cos she looked at them cross-eyed.

And diver, Tuatappitutti,

Wobbles his belly and hips.

In lycra tights and scared of heights,

Dives into a bag of chips.

The South Sea Island team,

At the Dog and Duck are staying.

They're having such a happy time,

At drinking beer and domino playing.

But time had come for London Games,

For athletes from the South Sea.

They stayed behind in the Dog and Duck,

And watched the whole thing on TV.